L's Great Cake Finding Adventure
by Ghostly Priestess Kikyo
Summary: Random L-centric Drabble. When L learns that his cake has gone missing, he goes out to find some more. But it's been thirteen years since he's been all alone out in the real world... This could get interesting.


Random L Drabble…

I like cake. I enjoy it very much, and my mental abilities increase by seven percent when I am eating it. The reasons for such are these: it is delicious, often colorful, and contains much sugar. I particularly enjoy strawberry cake, because strawberries are juicy and have a pleasing red color. But all types of cake are fun.

So, it is understandable why I was so devastated when Watari reported that the stock of desserts and pastries he always had saved had finally become empty. My first reaction was to chew on my right thumbnail while staring sadly at my empty plate. It was very unfortunate that I had already eaten every crumb of the bit of cake I had been eating. _Very _unfortunate.

Watari coughed conspicuously; I assumed this was an attempt to remind me that he was there. I had not forgotten, but he was, naturally, stressed, so it would have been easy to make this mistake. I swiveled my chair around, sighing as I noticed the empty tray he was carrying. "There is no cake in _any _of the stock rooms? You are positive?" I queried hopefully, but he only shook his head.

"I had thought that we still had the one in the janitor's closet of Wammy's, sir, but it seems Mello blew off the lock. He took all of the chocolate and I suppose the other children finished off the rest."

I chewed my thumbnail thoughtfully, placing the other hand on my knee. "How long will it take to retrieve more cake?"

"It should be a few days, but I assure you all of the staff are busy replacing the lost desserts."

My toes wiggled with agitation. "That will not be good. If it even takes only two days there is a forty-two percent chance that I will die."

Watari blinked once or twice. I did not really understand why, as his eyes looked perfectly clear. "It's not as if you won't have _anything _to eat…"

"I understand that. Still, it is a very large possibility."

"Well…" Watari seemed to be flustered for some reason. I was surprised that the idea hadn't occurred to him already; after all, we had known each other for more than ten years. "I suppose… I could find a nearby pastry shop, or… something of the kind."

"Yes," I agreed, "Yes, that would be good. But depending on the amount of time spent finding the shop, I may still die before you return."

Watari murmured a few fragments of various words, apparently still flustered. "Well… um…"

Usually I did not like to interrupt, but it seemed as if it would be about three hours before he finished his first sentence. For this reason I interjected. "If you like, I could go find some cake myself. It is not as if anyone would recognize me as L, so it will be perfectly safe. If I do this, I should be able to find it faster and also to eat it as soon as I do so."

This seemed to be preferable to trying to find something to say, so Watari stopped babbling and nodded pensively. "Very well, I suppose that could work. Would you like me to accompany you?"

"No, that would be unnecessary. I am around cake often, and will definitely recognize it when I see it." The matter appeared to be settled, so I lifted myself out of the swiveling chair laboriously. Hunched as I was, I stood about seven inches shorter than Watari.

"All right, but you must remember to be careful. It _has _been thirteen years since you were in public alone."

"Hmm, has it only been that long?"

And with that, I departed for my cake search.

The first shop that I approached was entitled, "Goods and Hardware." I had no need of computer equipment, but cake was certainly a good thing, so I entered. The storekeeper did an odd thing as I entered. He looked up once with a face of pronounced indifference, then, as soon as he had laid his head back down on the plastic counter, it shot up again and he gaped at me openly.

Perhaps this store did not get many customers.

"Hello," I greeted with my best attempt at a friendly tone, "Would you happen to have any cake I could buy?"

The young man's brow furrowed in a way that I had only seen once or twice. I found it rather fascinating. "Dude," he replied, "This is a hardware store."

"Is that so? No more goods?" I frowned and surveyed the contents of the building suspiciously. There were, in fact, no good things unless one happens to count hammers and large screws. "Well, it would be best if the sign were changed, then."

As I left I felt that the shopkeeper was staring at me again. Such odd behavior; was it possible that so much had changed in only thirteen years?

When it came to my next visit, I made sure to be positive that its neon sign was not outdated. This was proved by the fact that the front window showcased a large, delicious-looking strawberry cake. I salivated a bit as I laid eyes on it.

The interior was decorated with a rather melodramatic mix of photographs, acrylic paintings, and young women in low-cut uniforms. It was one of the latter that I approached, asking, "How much would the cake in the front window cost?"

She smiled in a way that was undoubtedly insincere. If she had been a suspect in a crime I would have put her under surveillance immediately. "Well, sir, that's just a prop. But if you're willing to wait we could have our chefs bake something just like it!"

"How long would I be waiting?" I asked. I did not trust her.

She pouted irritatingly, apparently at a loss. "I dunno… two, three weeks?"

I believe I may have fainted for a few seconds, for the next thing I remember is wondering why I was on the floor and if the woman was a criminal after all. She may have been, but it was my own shock which induced such a reaction.

I now understood why Watari had been so panicked. This cake-finding was a serious business, almost as serious as solving a murder or dropping cubes of sugar in coffee. I already felt as if I could not even solve a Rubik's Cube due to my lack of sugar. These were dire circumstances.

This was when something as miraculous as, well, my inability to solve a Rubik's Cube, happened.

I spotted a small truck covered with pictures of popsicles decorated with food coloring. A man was standing inside of it, while tens of small children crowded about outside. At first I assumed it was some sort of strange ritual that had evolved in the past thirteen years, but then I saw the man give one of the children a cone of red ice cream.

On top was a strawberry.

I hurried towards the vehicle, pausing only once to wonder why it was emitting such strange notes. But then I saw that it seemed to attract the toddlers, and the odd music was explained. Arriving at the rectangle which had been cut out of the truck—this was where I had spotted the man giving out the food—I looked up and pointed at the small girl's ice cream cone. "I would like one hundred of those, please."

The man gaped a bit, much like the shopkeeper had at Goods and Hardware. I realized that this must be some sort of social etiquette, and gaped back. Finally, he replied, "Well… won't they melt?"

"You make a good point. Very well; ninety."

He gaped more. This man was very polite indeed! "Well, I… I guess…" he muttered uncertainly.

Meanwhile one of the taller children began poking my hair. I hoped he would not disturb it.

It was getting late when I first opened the door to the hotel room I had been residing in. Watari looked up with a relieved expression as I approached. "Sir, I'm glad you were able to make it back!" Eyeing the three boxes I was caring, he added, "You found some cake?"

"No," I replied, setting the cardboard boxes down on a table. "But I did find a delightful flavor of ice cream. Might you refrigerate this?"

The purpose of this story is to establish that cake is often hard to find and that large vehicles with strange men inside of them are sometimes useful. Also, one should never go more than two hours without sugar.


End file.
